Promises and Jealousy
by NeoCriMs0n
Summary: She took my place as Jin's Secretary. She took everything away from me. If only... She would just... Disappear! Jin X Tsubaki *Tsubaki's POV* *Continuum Shift - Really canon Jin X Tsubaki Spoiler moments ahead*


This Fanfic is sort of a spoiler for **Continuum Shift**. But, this is a tribute to Jin and Tsubaki. Tsubaki's jealousy over Noel taking her place as Jin's subordinate is what drives her to be easily manipulated by Hazama.

For Tsubaki, she only wanted to be Jin's side. But she couldn't because of her belief that Noel is always taking her place.

She had been my best friend ever since we were at the Academy. She's always there, always with me, with Jin, Makoto, and Carl before he mysteriously disappeared. Needless to say, she was always with us.

One day, I don't know what came over me, but I asked the Student Council President and childhood friend Jin, to assign her to a particular position in the Council. He has his doubts, but he agreed anyways and gave her a position, which utterly made her jump in joy.

A few years later, Jin was now a candidate to a Valedictorian Degree for his exceptional skills and is to graduate in a few months. I took advantage of this time to always spend more time with him. Knowing that I can't see him for a while until I get to graduate, too. But, I didn't forget about my duties.

We always meet together in our childhood meeting place after school. He didn't forget about our childhood "Promise", either. In that he has to give his soul to me if he ever go back on his promise.

I was a sheltered child back in my childhood days. No, in my opinion, even worse than being simply called "Sheltered". At the time, I was seldom allowed to leave our manor, and even then, only with my father. But then, I met Jin visiting our manor for a council meeting. I don't know, but the first time I talk to him, it feels like I need to see and talk to him more and more.

We would always meet. My family has no complaints about this "Meeting" of ours. For Jin was the next-in-line to be the head of the high-esteemed Kisaragi Family.

I was happy. Very happy. Nothing is more enjoyable to me than being with the one who gave me joy of the outside world for the first time.

Our promise.

_Cross my heart and hope to die,  
I promise that I will never lie,  
And if my promise ever does go,  
I give to you my eternal soul..._

Time sure flies, in what seemed like only days, the Graduation Day came. And Jin was awarded with Medals, Trophies, and even a high position in the Novus Orbis Librarium. I was with Noel and Makoto, and they were shouting and cheering just like everyone else.

Without a warning, weeks later, the Ikaruga Union suddenly made a rebellion agains the Librarium, and the NOL has to take action. But since there were no available Cadets at that time, Jin was assigned a squad to stop the Ikaruga Union.

I was worried. I feel like crying. Makoto and Noel are also worried. But, not as much as me.

What if he died? What if he died just like everyone else? Jin is certainly skilled and talented, but why would they assign him suddenly to a war? He just graduated! Why? I can't take it!

Surprisingly, without any complaints, Jin agreed. Without even a trace of worry in his face. I took this time to go to him. The least I can do is share some encouragement to him. The NOL's orders are absolute, and I can't do anything to stop them from assigning Jin to stop the war.

When I got to his room, he was thinking. Something very deep. But then, he didn't failed to notice me, and asked why I was crying.

Indeed, I was crying. Crying for him.

I wrapped my arms into his slender form. Resting my head on his chest, listening to the sweet beats of his heart. Even when I'm crying, I can still hear and feel his heart.

He rubbed my head in reaction, like petting a young and helpless cat.

I always loved his hands. Those strong but slender hands. The warmth of his body, and his scent, the fragrance of a thousand resinous pine trees dancing in their glory and freshly cut grass. His essence alone is enough to drive me insane.

I told him to not die on me. I tried to force him to promise me not to die on me.

He was silent about that remark. He just said a simple saying that he is no different from other humans, and that someday, he will also die.

I can't bring myself to say anything. What he said was true, but I can't bring myself to accept that he will have to go to the afterlife this young and early.

I let go of him, and looked at him straight in the eyes. And just forced him to promise me that he will not allow himself to be killed.

He caressed my face, and said that he will.

Our promise.

_Cross my heart and hope to die,  
I promise that I will never lie,  
And if my promise ever does go,  
I give to you my eternal soul..._

That's more than enough for me.

A few days later, he went to battle.

I prayed hard. Hard enough for me to drop on my knees, and plead to God that he will not let my beloved die. No! Please don't let my beloved die.

The next day, miraculously, we received a news in the Academy that Jin's strategy and exceptional leadership brought enormous war cry on his squad, and he single-handedly defeated the Leader of the rebelling Ikaruga Union, bringing victory to the Librarium. And he was scheduled to come to the Academy later to be promoted to a much higher rank.

I was overjoyed. Not because of his victory or his promotion. But because he is alive. Alive and well and I could still be with him.

He did came to the Academy later, and the Students cheered with all the glory of their voices for the young Hero - my beloved.

He was given the rank of Major. Such a very high rank for such a young man. His face is stoic and unfazed, dropping on one of his knees and bowing with his eyes closed before the Generals and Commanders much higher than him.

He was given a prized possession of the Librarium. A Sword. A Nox Nyctores. An Item so treasured by the Librarium that only the most talented and skillful of all the warriors can wield it.

Like a Prince accepting the hand of the Princess he wants to marry, he took the Nox Nyctores with open hands.

Cheers and Shouts were heard. The whole Academy shouted with joy, and I am no exception. I'm very proud of him. How I wish that someday, I can be like him. But, that was merely a dream. His exceptional qualities is what makes him unique.

And that's why I love him.

After the ceremony, I came to him.

Once again, I wrapped my arms around him. Once again, enjoying his essence. The very same essence that I love since my childhood days.

He responded with the same treatment, and apologized for making me worry.

I cried once again. Not out of worry or sadness, but out of happiness. Happiness of seeing him again.

Nothing. Nothing is more enjoyable to me.

Our sweet reminiscings were interrupted by one of the Generals, calling him.

He looked at me, and kissed my hand before going away.

I merely told him a simple good-bye. I waved my hand to him. I went back to my duties.

A Ceremony has once again been called. So, the classes were cancelled again.

Like any other high-ranking Officer in the Librarium, a Major needs a Subordinate/Secretary to assist him/her on his duties. The Librarium chooses only the most suitable of the students to become a Secretary to a Major. They will choose who is to be Jin's Secretary in about a month, and they will have to do some observing in the Academy along with Jin.

I was nervous, but at the same time, excited. Will Jin choose me? No, he doesn't have the right to choose. Only the Private Generals of the Librarium can.

But, if I do my best, and if I demonstrated my skills that can satisfy their needs, will they accept me as Jin's secretary?

Somewhere in my heart, I thought of the other students that can qualify as such.

I'm not the only one who wants to be Jin's secretary. Practically, everyone of the female students. Except, maybe "Her".

But, I know deep in my heart, that I'm the only one who wants to be by his side forever. I'm the only one.

Therefore, I MUST be the one to become his Subordinate.

I worked hard, and I demonstrated before them my exceptional skills. I gave it my all. I don't care what happens. I just want to be by his side.

The month flies fast, and before I knew it, The Decisioning Ceremony has finally been called.

All the female students gathered in the great hall. It was overflowing with them. I never knew that this many female students want to be Jin's secretary. I can't even believe that "She" is there. But, I'm confident. That I'm the one.

The High-General said an introduction. Every second passed, my heartbeat raced. And with a paper passed to him, he will begin to say who will become Jin's Secretary. I feel like my heart is about to explode.

The chosen one is…

Noel Vermillion.

I was stunned, unfazed, angered and battered inside. Noel Vermillion? My best friend?

How? I am far more talented than her! How can that be? I've known her to be clumsy and sometimes idiotic. No, it must be her Nox Nyctores! The Nox Nyctores "Bolverk". The Nox Nyctores is what allowed her to become exceptional! It's not her! It's not her! It's "Bolverk"!

She climbed up the stairs, obviously very nervous, and she almost tripped on one of the stairs upwards.

It pained me. And it stabs my heart when the High-General even shouted and repeated to the whole Academy that SHE will be Jin's Secretary.

I saw a still unfazed expression on Jin. He too, was obviously stunned. There's no mistaking on his expression. I've known him since we were children. I know.

Claps were heard. And Noel received her title. She is to be scheduled to be at Jin's side when she graduates.

Even though it greatly pains me, even though it greatly stings my heart, I congratulated her. She responded with a happy thanks.

How dare she. How dare you, Noel!

She took my place.

I experienced jealousy before in my childhood. In my childhood days, whenever Jin would talk to other girls other than myself, I always feel like sending them away. If I could, I could even ask my father to prevent the other girls from talking to him. But, that was just not noble-like of me. So, I controlled myself.

But, this time, this jealousy is completely different.

I was jealous. No, even worse than simply jealous.

I was envious.

I was envious… Of "Her", of all people!

I wish she would just disappear.

The day came when we were to graduate. And she is now scheduled to be at Jin's post. She did.

And… I was left all alone. Away from my beloved.

Noel… How I wish… You would just… Dissapear…

If only, you would just vanish. Then life would be good for me again. And I would always be with at Jin's side.

I was jealous of you, Noel. Jealous because you get to be with Jin.

You took everything away from me. You took my everything.

I wish… "She" would just disappear.

Okay, I'm supposed to release this Fanfic last week. But, I can't because of my assignments, projects and exams.

I hope you enjoyed this Fanfic.

Once again, this is a SPOILER for **Continuum Shift**. So if you have been spoiled by reading this, then don't blame me. ^_^

Thank you so much for reading!

I highly appreciate Reviews and Feedbacks.

Ciao!


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